I hear a lot of women saying they lost themselves when they were with their abusive partners. Then after they freed themselves they had to find who they were again. I did this as several times. In high school when I finally saw what was happening, I broke up with him. I didn't have the slightest clue who I was or what I wanted to be because everything I did and acted was the way he wanted me to. During my divorce everything I knew about my reality has all been fabricated. I didn't know what was real and what was a lie. I felt everything about me was a lie. I think that's why people go a little nuts after a breakup. They spent so long smothering their personality, they are finally free so they are ready to live again as themselves.

I don't like relationships where the two individuals cannot do anything apart from the other. I'm sure most of them are wonderful relationships, but it makes me uncomfortable. One thing I love hearing my sisters boyfriend say to her is, "You do you". I hear it a lot when we were making plans. He didn't care one bit if she did something different and out of the ordinary, or not what he was doing. If my sister can remain my weird, quirky, emotional sister, and be on a serious relationship I'm happy. (If she starts becoming a shell of herself because she keeps changing who she is to please him, Someones head will be rolling on the floor.) I'm sure they are being their goofy selves when they are hollering "you do you" at each other. But the meaning behind it is something beautiful.

At the same time you will change and adapt to the person you are in a relationship with. Jason sees flaws in me, points them out and I try to be better. And I do the same for him. There are things I no longer do even though it's not bad. But I don't do it because it bothers him or isn't helpful. The things we change and compromise on are not our personalities or the essence of who we are. I am 100% myself with Jason. I feel more myself when I am with him. I don't feel like there is any parts of me or my personality I have to hide or change. Being with him I feel more confident and more sure of myself because he encourages those parts of me. Don't settle to be with anyone who you feel you have to hide your personality when you with them. You will forget who you are.