It took awhile to finally decide if my life ever going to be on an even plain of emotions.

When the custody battle began over the children, I had tried to get custody. This was one that really was painful.  There is nothing worse than an investigator coming to your apartment. He looks at the place, checks all the rooms, and then asks a question that really shocked me, " Do you date?"  I said, " No, not really." He then with a straight look into my eyes said, "What? Do you prefer girls?"  I have to tell you even now this memory is very hurtful and painful. I shouted, " No!"  My behavior had to be controlled. I was angry, and felt someone had punched me in my gut.

As soon as I started fighting for my children, the ex takes off. He is running scared. This was one terrible emotional ride for me. Thank goodness I had an Attorney who was a family friend. He helped me look for my ex and the kids. My daughter had written a letter to me, as they started traveling to find a place to reside.  She told me she loved me, and they were sleeping under the stars at night. This was truly a hard time in my life.

After the Attorney found them they were settled in Washington state. We were then set for visiting rights for myself.  The agreement was for me to pay for their flight to Kansas,  and my ex to pay the fight back to Washington. I had visitation August of every year.  Thank the Lord for this attorney who realized my need to be with my children.  

It is strange how your mind can be changed by someone, then the struggle to find yourself is a turbulent wave of emotions, and reasoning.  To have your Mom say, I now know that you were manipulated and brain washed.  She  never believed what happened to Patty Hurst back in the 1960's. Miss Hurst was kidnapped in a high profile story.  Mom told me that now she could understand that this could happen to someone, she saw her daughter was brain washed.

Yes, I was finally finding a glimpse of my life.  I know that it was not easy.  I am thankful that God guided me back home with my Mother.  I lived in my old bedroom just where God knew where I needed to be for recovery.