Jason had told me he didn't want to get involved with a married women. I respected that. Once he slowly started learning more about why I was still married and my situation, he realized he wouldn't be in the way of two people working on their struggling marriage. Then he changed how he treated me. He started pursuing me.

Jason was one of the people who helped me move. He stayed after everyone else headed home to help me get the furniture where I wanted it. He left after I took him out to lunch for helping me. He texted me later that day to ask how I was doing. I was honest and told him not good. I felt with him I could share how I was feeling and processing my divorce. Because he had gone through it, I knew he would understand. I was nervous about being alone in a very sketchy neighborhood. He offered to come over and bring some movies to help me feel safer. (He lived 40 min away)

We laid on separate sides of the couch, and when the last movie was over he made a move. That was the single greatest kiss in the history of the world if I do say so myself. Even to this day I will smile and tell him to kiss me like the first time. He always responds with, "that's a lot to live up to." 

He went home that night, then came back the next day. From that moment on he never left. We were only apart when we went to work, which ironically is the same place. We didn't sleep much for two weeks because we stayed up just talking. We shared our stories, past hurts and failures and future dreams. It was so strange, this was a man I hardly knew, yet he understood me deeper than anyone ever. I shared with him him details about my abuse I never told anyone before.

Two weeks into our relationship Jason asked me if we were exclusive. I responded with, "When do you have time for anyone else?" That was the end of that.

A few days later I told him I wanted to say something, but was scared it was to soon and creepy. He responded with, "I love you too"

To be perfectly honest, if I hadn't been 'married' we would have gone off and eloped in the first month we were together. So we planned to go to the court house the week after my divorce went through. We got a full year to get to know each other and even though we had no doubts, we were able to know this is real not just a passing feeling.  

He gave me a beautiful pink ring that his mothers gave him for me as a promise ring. He told me he didn't want to officially propose until my divorce was final. But in our minds we were already married, we made those promises to each other. I got him a promise ring as well. The legal side didn't matter to us. We would make it official when we could. 

After several months we had the baby talk. We both always wanted kids. We were as ready as we could ever be. We decided to stop preventing and start trying. We assumed it could be years because of how long it took me to get pregnant before. We had no expectations. First month of trying we were pregnant. If that's not a miracle or sign from God I don't know what is. I took one test at night and it was vague. I took another one the next morning while Jason was still asleep. I crawled back into bed and told him it was positive. He wrapped his arms around me and said, "I told you I have bad ass swimmers, now go back to sleep."

Our relationship isn't by the book. It's a little crazy. We had tons of judgment. It probably didn't help we worked together. We got even more when we got pregnant. I wanted to wear a shirt everyday that said, "this wasn't an accident". It was tough hearing criticism. I even had one person we work with suggest an abortion. I should have slapped her. Jason and I have never been more confident in anything. I wasn't going to put my life on hold waiting for a piece of paper from a judge.