Last night at the event I helped coordinate for domestic violence awareness and to offer free counseling. One of the speakers was the judge who granted me my divorce. (I wrote about him in my post D-day part 2) He was a nice old man who said his wife always gets on to him for sounding mean and cynical. But he honestly doesn't try to be mean. He shared about his side of domestic violence. The domestic violence cases take a whole day every week. He tries to set up restraining orders for every victim. But most of the times the victim doesn't want one, and they end up back in his court room. He mentioned he takes detailed notes about every case and saves all his notes for the next time.

I don't know why but hearing him speak made me so emotional. I was the victim he spoke of sitting in his court room who didn't have bruises to prove her pain. I knew after the event I needed to introduce myself. After two and a half years of wishing I could have spilled my guts out to the judge about all the reasons I needed that divorce. I had the chance to share my story and how his decision had given me freedom. 

Afterwards I went up and introduced myself and told him my story. We talked for a bit. He was so glad I came up and talked to him and that everything turned out wonderful for me. He says it's hard only seeing the negative side of people's lives. He was happy my life turned out ok, and he thanked me for introducing myself. 

It's weird how that conversation with a stranger gave me closer I didn't know I was missing. I had hated the feeling that my judge didn't know why I was getting a divorce. All he knew is we had, "unreconcilable differences" and I was 9 months pregnant with another man's child. It doesn't change anything that happened in that court room two and a half years later, but it's nice to know my judge understands now what happened.