Because Sam and I signed a covenant marriage license I couldn't divorce him when I wanted to. There was stipulations. We had to be separated for two years. We had to go to counseling. All because he didn't hit me or have sex with someone else.

My lawyer asked me every time we talked if I had any reason to believe Sam was cheating on me. He said every time he sees a situation like mine, there is no way Sam was faithful to me. I had no reason to think that. If I knew what I knew now, I would have dug deeper.  But I was tired of searching for answers. Tired of looking for things that would break my heart more. 

I did everything I needed to do. I had my counseling done. (He never showed up for his part.) We couldn't live separately because the judge put him under house arrest in my home because that was his legal address. My lawyer said it was not be a problem. Fast forward a year I had gone through the toughest part of grieving process. I had everything done with my lawyer, i just had to wait until it has been two years. I dealt it all the best way I could. 

Sam signed the divorce papers. I was pregnant but wasn't sure if he knew. I wore a jacket. Not because I wanted to hide Peyton, but this was not the place he needed to find out if he hadn't already heard through the grapevine. Jason came for my protection, with all the drama and hateful things Sam had said and done, Jason wasn't letting me and his baby be alone with him. He sat in the car and waited while we went in and had everything notarized just in case I needed him. No problems.

Fast forward a few months and my lawyer forgot I was pregnant so we needed different papers. The judge would not grant a pregnant woman a divorce without someone to claim my child. No problem. Except for the fact Sam had moved out of town to live with his parents. I had to get my brothers to take it to him to get notarized. He did, but he printed it on cartoon paper. My lawyer obviously couldn't use that. When I told Sam to try again, he tried to fight me. He said we never did counseling  (he never showed up). That it hadn't been two years. (I counted from the day I found out. Legally I could have said it was the last time we had sex and moved the date way up.) I very firmly told him that he had already signed all the divorce papers. This new paper just said that he was not the father of my child. So if he didn't sign it, the judge would make him pay child support. 

He signed the papers that day. Everything was ready. I had been ready for two years. I just had a few more days to wait.